| |
| |
|
Pregnancy Main Page |
|
|
|
The Pregnancy Glow and Other Myths of Motherhood
It happened during the ninth month of my first pregnancy. I was going through a department store check-out lane where a teenage girl was ringing up my purchases. She looked shyly at my burgeoning belly with an expression that could only be described as reverent. With eyes full of dreams of future motherhood she asked, "Is pregnancy really as bad as everyone says?" Without the slightest guilt, I replied, "No. It's worse." The Deception When my husband and I announced the birth of our blessed expectation some months prior, along with endless congratulations, I received the good news of the many wonderful changes I could expect. "You'll positively glow." "Your hair and nails will look fabulous." "You'll feel absolutely beautiful." According to family and friends, as a gestating woman, I would feel nothing short of a precious vessel, glowing with health and radiance given only to those experiencing the miracle of growing a child. About a week later, wearing the pallor of death, I was running away from the smell of my husband's lunchtime tuna fish sandwich knowing I'd never been so violently ill my entire life. The Reality Although it's rumored there are actually women who sail through pregnancy untouched by any ills or discomfort, I was not one of them. If I'd ever experienced a pregnancy glow, I'm certain I could only have been radioactive. I was told to expect a little morning sickness. I didn't anticipate 24/7 progesterone poisoning, body aches, or never ending fatigue. And in all the happy tales of pregnancy recounted to me, I'm certain I'd have remembered hearing if pure, unadulterated misery were mentioned as a symptom of gestation. Sitting in my obstetrician's office near the end of the first trimester, she asked how I was feeling. "Sick." "Good." She replied. Seeing my defeated look, she offered a small respite. "You'll start to feel better after week 12 or 13." I crossed the days off my calendar waiting for magical week 13. It came and went. My never ending nausea did not. I was sick, tired, and sick of being both. I'd been told how sharing a child together would make my marital relationship more intimate. I, on the other hand, hated my husband. No matter he and I had joyfully consented to make this child together, or that he worried and did the best he could to make me feel more comfortable. Somewhere in the back of my mind, as I watched him lie peacefully asleep at night while I was awake fending off nausea, all I could think was, "this is your fault." And so it went for the entire duration of nine months. I knew beyond any shadow of a doubt, if I ever survived this go-round on the pregnancy rollercoaster, there would be no more children in my future, ever. Motherhood just wasn't all that it was cracked up to be. The Grand Debut Jacob Lyle arrived in early fall that year, bearing 10 perfect fingers and toes, a head full of brown hair and big blue eyes. He was bruised and battered from birth, yet, to my eyes, perfection unlike the world had ever seen before. Suddenly, my entire life made sense. At 23-years old, I wasn't yet sure what I wanted to be when I grew up, or what my future held outside of being a wife to my husband. With the arrival of Jacob, I knew exactly why I was here-to be the mother of this beautiful child. Having Jacob filled my life with a sense of awe and wonder I had never known. I was a mother, and that was enough. Altered Expectations While I had expected sleepless nights with my newborn, what I hadn't expected was how much I would enjoy them. I gladly gave up sleep to have the chance just to hold my tiny son in my arms and look at his sweet face. I expected life to change. I never expected the very foundations of my world to be rocked. It came as a total shock that the simple act of becoming a mother-wasn't simple. Previous to motherhood, tragedy in the world was sad. After the birth of my son, it was heart-wrenching. No longer could I watch a movie or read a news report depicting harm to a child without emotion. Every child became my child. What if it were Jacob who was sick? What if it were Jacob who was injured? Issues I'd previously given no thought suddenly became of substantial importance. Was there truly a difference between breastfeeding and formula feeding? Should we circumcise? If I vaccinated my child, he could have a serious adverse reaction. If I chose not to vaccinate, he could become very ill. I became an information addict and read every book on childcare I could get my hands on and spent endless hours researching my concerns and second guessing my decisions. The rest of my waking hours were spent staring at Jacob as he slept, assuring myself he was still breathing and would only continue to do so thorough my conscious willing of it. Fortunately, he survived my new mother paranoia and came out relatively unscathed-- or at least, I will assume so until I'm presented with a bill for therapy. Personal Truths I had gone into motherhood with the words of many fostering my belief I'd have a baby, but life would eventually go back to normal again by the magical six-week check-up (at which point I'd also have lost all my baby weight). What I didn't know when I gave birth was normal was gone forever, along with any peace of mind, my figure, and any hope of a good night's sleep, but that I'd never trade a moment of my new life to have it back again. Motherhood, I've come to find, is a journey rather than a destination. And while we may endeavor to share experiences with a new mom-to-be, the truths of motherhood remain personal and hers alone to find. The only certainty is the journey is well worth traveling. I only wish I could talk to that teenager one more time. About The Author Barbara Eastom Bates is the author of the upcoming release, "Basic Training for Brides-to-Be," and editor-in-chief of Operation Military Spouse, http://www.operationmilitaryspouse.com.
MORE RESOURCES:
Pregnancy - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Piece of Mind During Pregnancy - It is Possible with Babysheart After four years of marriage my husband and I started to plan for our family. Unfortunately we ran into some fertility issues because of my endometriosis. Pregnancy Fashion - Look And Feel Great During Your Pregnancy! Have you ever wondered what makes women tick? Well among other things it is good, no wait? great fashion sense!If you are pregnant or soon will be, it can sometimes seem like a daunting task trying to remain fashionable and pregnant all at the same time.Many women at least initially lament the loss of their pre-pregnant figures. Pregnant Women Dont Just Stay at Home; Go Shopping! Most women like to go shopping. However, sometimes pregnant women reluctant to go out because they are afraid could harm them. Are Epidurals Bad? EPIDURALS CAN SAVE YOU FROM THE "HORRORS" OF CHILDBIRTHIt is true that an epidural may make a woman have an easier birth, but may also complicate matters? Recently, I heard of a new study written by an anesthesiologist, stating that epidurals do not increase the woman's risk of cesareans. I immediately dismissed it as an attempt to sell a book. Smoking During Pregnancy If you have been drinking up until the point when you become pregnant or smoking it is also vital that you stop doing so immediately. Many women worry that they consumed a few alcoholic drinks prior to learning they were pregnant. After Birth Weight Control After having given birth; weight becomes a lasting issue for many women.Every year, there are many women who have left over weight brought on by the loving process of pregnancy. Calcium and Pregnancy Studies show that most women do not get enough daily Calcium. And many pregnant women do not realize that the typical prenatal vitamin only contains 4-20% of the RDA of Calcium. Womens Health - Pregnancy Nutrition is for All Women of Child Bearing Age During pregnancy your nutrition needs are going to increase. Even before becoming pregnant it is a good idea to make every effort to start eating healthy and taking a women's multivitamin. How do I Calculate My Pregnancy Due Date? You're pregnant! The next question is: When is the baby due? Calculating the pregnancy due date is not complicated. There are several methods to calculate your estimated due date, but we all know that babies have their own timetables and most don't arrive on the estimated due date. What Would I Do Without My Doula? By the time my husband and I finally got pregnant the first time, I had done a lot of reading about birth options and we had already decided to have a midwife instead of a doctor. We believe that pregnancy is a healthy state of being, and unless something came up, a midwife was the best way to go for us. How Fast Will I Lose The Weight I Gained During Pregnancy? Remember as with any weight loss and exercise program, moderation is the key! How fast you lose weight will depend on a number of factors, including the amount of weight you gained during your pregnancy.Most women will lose anywhere from 10-14 pounds within the first 2 weeks of delivery. How to Deal With Headaches During Pregnancy Headaches are one of the more unpleasant "side effects" that come with pregnancy. All women will have some, but most will experience them in the first and last trimesters. Alcohol And Pregnancy If you have been drinking up until the point when you become pregnant or smoking it is also vital that you stop doing so immediately. Many women worry that they consumed a few alcoholic drinks prior to learning they were pregnant. Reducing Your Pain In Childbirth Pain is the word most associated with labor. Women go to great lengths to deal with the discomforts of childbirth. How to Lose Weight After Pregnancy Weight control is a prevalent concern for many women after pregnancy. Although common during pregnancy, weight gain is difficult for many women to handle emotionally. Keeping Cool When Pregnant Chill Out: how to keep your cool this summerWhen the heat is on, life can become very hard when you are pregnant. Instead of looking forward to those long, hot August days, you may find yourself dreaming of igloos and frozen ice-caps, so try out these tricks to help you keep your cool when the temperature rises. Glutathione for a Healthier Pregnancy All parents-to-be nurture the dream of a healthy pregnancy and baby.But the modern environment and diet is deficient in many factors essential for the health of mother and fetus. Fighting the Pregnancy Blahs Every pregnant woman has experienced the pregnancy blahs. I can remember feeling so big and unattractive throughout my two pregnancies, and secretly wishing for the pregnancy to be over so that I could have my body back and fit into my normal clothes. Exclusively Pumping Breast Milk It is commonly recognized that breast milk is the best possible nutrition for an infant and more and more women are choosing to breastfeed their babies. But what happens if breastfeeding is not possible? Many people would suggest that the only alternative is to bottle feed formula. Why Shouldnt I Smoke During Pregnancy? There are a lot of good reasons to quit smoking, but isn't your baby the most compelling? Researchers agree that smoking during pregnancy can be a leading contributor to a range of health problems, both for the mother and the baby.Smoking during pregnancy increases the amount of nicotine and carbon monoxide, both poisonous, in the mother's bloodstream.
|
| home | Index | site map |
| © 2006 |
