Pregnancy Information

Coping With an Unplanned Pregnancy


Your period is late and you start to think maybe you might be pregnant. Maybe you are afraid to go take a test because you don't want to find out the results. You may be asking yourself "how could this happen"? If you find yourself pregnant with an unplanned pregnancy all kinds of emotions may run through your mind. Perhaps you are secretly excited about this but scared to tell your husband. Maybe you are not married and scared about facing motherhood alone. Maybe you do not want any more children and the prospect of having another baby is the worst thing you could imagine right now. There are many scenarios that lead up to unplanned pregnancies. Mistakes in judgment happen, condoms break, birth control pills fail, even tubal ligations and vasectomies fail.

Once you get over the initial shock of finding out that you are pregnant you will have some tough decisions to face. Do you want to carry this pregnancy, how are you going to tell your friends and family, how are you going to handle the emotions and pressures that people will put on you. The first thing you should do is try not to panic. Although this may seem like an extreme emergency, in reality you have time to make a decision. Try to take some time to collect yourself and think about your options. You will not be the first mom to not be excited about the news of a new baby. Try not to beat yourself up. Take responsibility for your actions but wallowing in guilt is not going to help the situation. Before you talk to anyone about your decision take some time to decide what you want to do. If you want to keep this baby, have an abortion, or consider an adoption that is your decision and talking to someone about the situation may cloud your judgment. Yes your partner should probably be involved in the decision-making, ultimately; you are the one that is going to have to live with your choices. Try to make some plans in your head for what you would like to do before you talk to anyone.

After you have had time to think about things and to collect yourself, you may want to get some counsel from friends, family or maybe a minister. Find someone that you know will be supportive of your decision to confide in. You need to have support during this time. You don't want to be surrounded by people that are going to beat you down for your mistake or pressure you into doing what they want. Surround yourself with a support group. If you have no one to turn to you can seek help from support groups geared for this situation. If you do not plan to have an abortion, you may want to steer away from groups that endorse this and perhaps find a faith based support group.

Eventually you are going to have to tell some people. You don't have to tell everyone and you can tell people about this in your own time. Your partner may not be the first person you want to tell and that's okay. When you are ready find a time to sit down and talk to him. The longer you go without telling him the harder it will be. Sometimes it is easier to tell him earlier and let him adjust to the situation than it is to wait and have him angry for not telling him sooner. Either way if you think that he will be unhappy it is going to be hard to tell him the news. Prepare yourself for the reactions and when you are ready just tell him. There are no right words to say. Try to avoid blaming or taking the blame. This situation doesn't happen with only one person involved. It is not all your fault or all his fault. It is a shared responsibility that the two of you will have to deal with.

If your partner, friends and family are not initially supportive that's okay. It is not their life or their pregnancy. They are not the ones who have to live with your decision. You are. Try not to let unwanted comments get to you. You can use humor to lighten the mood. If you are excited about this and they are not, then share your excitement. You can use I statements to let them know how you feel. If others fail to respect your decision and do not have anything positive to offer, you might want to simply explain that the discussion is off limits and refuse to talk about it with them. Whatever your choice may be, in the end it is your decision.

When reprinting this article on a website, please provide a clickable link back to www.justmommies.com

About The Author

Patty Hone is a wife and mommy to three kids. She is also the owner of Justmommies.com. Justmommies is an online community for mommies to make friends and find support. Please visit our website.

email@justmommies.com


MORE RESOURCES:

ABC News

Elizabeth Davies: Pregnancy not to be taken lightly
Norwich Bulletin, CT - 15 hours ago
By Elizabeth Davies I could hardly believe it when that plus sign began to form on the pregnancy test. A baby, I thought. Cribs and bottles, onesies and ...
Mass. pregnancy pact stirs debate over child care The Associated Press
Mayor: Pregnancy numbers may violate privacy Gloucester Daily Times
Column: Mayor Kirk talks about teen pregnancy issue Wicked Local Manchester
Uptown - Gloucester Daily Times
all 708 news articles


ChattahBox

Predicting pregnancy odds
San Jose Mercury News,  USA - Jul 2, 2008
By Vianna Davila Stanford University researchers said they are one step closer to accurately predicting if in vitro fertilization will result in pregnancy, ...
Predicting In Vitro Success TIME
Four Combined Factors Predict Success of In Vitro Fertilization Medscape (subscription)
New Method Better Predictor of In Vitro Fertilization Success U.S. News & World Report
eFluxMedia - TheMedGuru
all 66 news articles


New York Times

ABC Family Launches 'Cautionary' Television Series That Addresses ...
Medical News Today (press release), UK - 21 hours ago
ABC Family on Tuesday premiered a "cautionary" television series that plans to address issues including teenage pregnancy, and abstinence, ...
Karen Heller: Teen pregnancy as a TV series? Philadelphia Inquirer
Television Review A Teenage Pregnancy, Packaged as a Prime-Time ... New York Times
Art imitates life in teen pregnancy drama Boston Herald
Washington Post - TheCelebrityCafe.com
all 118 news articles


Gloucester plans teen pregnancy forums
Boston Globe, United States - 5 hours ago
Two weeks removed from the eye of a media firestorm over the spike in teen pregnancy at Gloucester High School, city officials plan to address the situation ...


US teenage pregnancy cult to feature in BBC3 documentary
guardian.co.uk, UK - 4 hours ago
The 60-minute special, which has the working title American Pregnancy Cult, will investigate whether the 16-year-old Massachusetts schoolgirls made a pact ...


China Daily

Angelina's pregnancy notes
Galatta.com, India - 9 hours ago
Pregnancy is quite an emotional roller-coaster for the moms-to-be, and Angelina Jolie does not want to forget the ride; hence she keeps a diary! ...
Angelina Jolie 'has secret pregnancy diary' NEWS.com.au
Doc: 'Everything is normal' with Angelina Jolie's pregnancy New York Daily News
Angelina Jolie Pregnancy Update The Gossip Girls
The Associated Press - AFP
all 2,127 news articles


Concern at Maori women smoking during pregnancy
New Zealand Herald, New Zealand - 12 hours ago
Te Hotu Manawa Maori manager Irene Walker said the rate of Maori smoking during pregnancy must reduce. "Even when pregnant Maori women quit smoking while ...


Oneindia

Yoga For Pregnancy
Oneindia, India - 5 hours ago
By :Health & Yoga A lady about 25 years old came to the maternity Hospital severely dejected and feeling hopeless. She had a very bad obstetrical history ...


Asthma In Pregnancy: How Does It Affect Mother And Child?
Bernama, Malaysia - 2 hours ago
During pregnancy, a woman is likely to show signs of having a short fuse like feeling irritable, petulant and ill tempered. But on other occasions, ...


BBC News

Junk food during pregnancy can harm unborn baby
Times of India, India - Jul 1, 2008
Smoking and drinking in pregnancy are known to harm the baby, but new research indicates that junk food may also sow the seeds of heart disease and diabetes ...
Poor diet during pregnancy does 'irreversible damage' Telegraph.co.uk
Diet & health: Women warned over junk food in pregnancy guardian.co.uk
Moms Eat Junk Food, Kids Get Fat CBS News
MedHeadlines - Mirror.co.uk
all 80 news articles

Pregnancy - Google News

home | Index | site map
© 2006